I tried to love you
the way dawn loves the horizon
without certainty, only devotion
At first it felt effortless, almost pure,
like a prayer that arrives before doubt,
as if the way you smiled
could hush the world into listening,
as if time held its breath for us
You seemed to understand
that time had given us just this moment,
a petal falling before the wind changes,
I, on the other hand, believed
the moment was eternal,
that love had paused the clock in our favour
Through the chaos I could see you clearly,
like a constellation finally named,
like my heart recognising its echo
Then it was clear
we were given this moment
so we could walk hand in hand,
so our shadows could touch first,
so we could shout I love you
in the midst of a storm
and believe the rain would bless us
I tried to love you, wholly,
with open palms and no armour,
with a love that wanted daylight
Then it became about
how I cannot hold your hand in public,
how love must fold itself smaller,
how we are not meant to be
as if meant were written in stone
and not in courage
Trying didn’t change that.
Even roses learn where thorns must grow.
All I had to do
was to love you unconditionally,
to love you like a tide
that never asks the shore to stay
Because after all,
love alters not
when it alteration finds
it only learns
how to ache beautifully
and remain.
Bohlale ba Tau
